Watching my world crumble round me

Right this moment I hit a brand new stage of despair. It has been constructing and festering for months. It began over a yr in the past once I examined HIV+. My world was fully turned the other way up. I felt like I had been given a loss of life sentence and my well being has been spiraling ever since. I assumed I used to be getting higher till lately. I relocated in February to a brand new state for work. I don’t know souls right here moreover my boss. I’ve met some folks at work, however don’t contemplate them to be pals. So I’m coping with homesickness and psychological, and emotional points alone. I attempted to succeed in out to pals again house. They don’t care. Since I don’t know folks right here I can’t actually attain out to anybody moreover my boss and he’s going by his personal stuff, so I strive to not trouble him a lot. I simply actually really feel alone and I’ve no assist or pals. I’m going by every little thing alone and at this time I nearly took my very own life out of extreme despair as a result of the chums I used to be alleged to have again house aren’t very encouraging or supportive they’re barely even there for me, however I’m at all times there for them. Regardless that I not reside in the identical state as them. I’m til dependable and they’re nonetheless not good pals, so recently I’ve simply been holding every little thing to myself and at this time it boiled over and I needed to discuss to a disaster hotline to calm me down earlier than I ended my life. I by no means need to be on this place once more and it sucks not having folks to assist you even after they say they’re there for you. I simply wanna make an actual reference to somebody who truly will get what I’m going by.

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